Surfing life as a wave…

Life in a nutshell cannot be summarized at all. But the closest I can come to is relating to when you surf a wave. Really, you can relate to anything but it does not matter. When they say you get what you deserve in life, trust me it’s always right. And most of the times it’s never unfair (Psst: I know many will not agree here!). Sometimes it makes me think, if I succeed in something, was I really worthy of the success? Thereby hindering me to live the moment! Incidents over the past year have left my mind in bits and pieces, blown up to smithereens one part at a time! It’s a very different experience to stay in track of what you are doing if your mind is in a gazillion pieces! So I thought I can muse here about how if my life was fair or not till now. I’m obviously not going to start with my childhood. Lets skip school and hmmm, college too! Assuming that whatever incidents happened there were or are not bad as the ones I’m facing or faced! Pardon me for the tone of negativity throughout this musing! Until the end of college, believe me, everyone is shielded by our parents. Many may not agree, but we don’t stand by our own. Which is bad u may think. You may have wanted a bike or a cell phone or anything for the matter of fact badly and for some stupid reason as we may think, and all were turned down! Then comes the point where you move out of India and all excited to go study in the US thanking God for making everything work for u. Well, don’t thank him yet!


The life changing experience awaits you. In one year, filled with failures and bad grades and job searching in vain, in the end it’s very easy for you to give up! You come here free from your parents and with some money in the bank. You are happy you are here and then you want to get the feel of the country and you shell out a few Benjamins you have in the bank. You think the semester is going well but before you know it, the end would be there and you will have the pressure to do well to save your grades. Of course last minute study is usual but in my case it didn’t work out and I had letter sent home saying if I don’t do well next time I’ll get kicked out! Reality strikes me! Out of cash and don’t want to turn to dad for it! Meanwhile scholarships and Assistantships were important to me and searching for them is not an easy task. When you spend hours and hours searching for it and you have no sign of anything positive, you… (I’ll leave you to decide)! This frustration brought my grades down 1st semester! “OK”, I said to myself, New Year, New semester, new start and ill make this happen! New Job (same pay! ), I decided to take 1 tough course and 2 other courses that are easy! I worked night shift in the semester which brought a mental turmoil 5 days a week! Yet you give a 100% at the opportunities of interviews you get and at the exams like nothing ever done before! You end up not getting it and to top it, with a bad grade. I’ve never seen anything being denied in my life in this scale before. Amidst this chaos and clutter I stand wondering if there is a plan laid out for me to complete the puzzle called career! I’ve still got to look forward to the future that something bright will be there! Life’s twisted and it will kill you but it’s all in your head to be sane and live it up! Nothing comes easy and there is no element called luck with me.


So, at first you admire the wave, then you’re tempted to surf it. You can only learn to surf it in the ocean. You head out. Then you forget you don’t know swimming! You still head out confident you won’t fall in. Then as always it s the 1st time and u fall in the ocean and u gape for air! You get saved obviously and try again and again. But if you’re not (Different story)! Surf’s up, and life’s about riding the wave out…